I spent my 7 hours of sleep last night in a frustrating dream about the wedding. Everything, everything went wrong. Here are a few highlights:
-My dress was delivered not as a beautiful, long, white gown, but as a short, pink and brown bridesmaid's dress.
-The DJ turned out not to be a DJ, but a singer in a band. He and his backup singers were dressed like the munchkins from The Wizard of Oz and sang 80's music all night (my least favorite genre).
-My brother hired a stripper to perform at the reception.
-The reception was held in a smoky bowling alley.
-Everyone drank from football-shaped mugs.
-I lost my shoes.
-It rained.
-Eric was nowhere to be found.
-Kanye West and Calvin Klein attended, and I was angry because they diverted attention away from me.
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